In January of this year, my grandma passed away.
It was a few weeks after I started at Geneva Global. Amidst the flurry of onboarding and acclimating to a new environment, I took a week and a half off to fly to the Philippines with my mom to attend Grandma’s funeral.
The day we arrived, Mom and I went straight to the santuwaryo (sanctuary) to attend the wake. We stored our luggage in a separate room with a bed. It’s customary for family members to take turns sleeping in the santuwaryo until we lay the deceased to rest, so that they will not be alone. My eldest cousin stayed there until more distant family members arrived to take his place and pay their respects.
Afternoon slipped into night. And through my sleep deprivation and relief of being with my family again, I noticed something peculiar. Despite the somber gathering, joy simmered beneath the murmured conversations and condolences. Folks milled about trading stories about her life and catching up with each other. Food and drink were laid out on a table, a grateful offering to everyone who was at the wake. It was almost a party of sorts, if one could forget the reason we gathered there.
The next day, we laid Grandma in her final resting place, reunited next to Grandpa. We cried a lot. We hugged each other. And we spent much needed time together. In the coming days, I learned more peculiar information. My tita (aunt) told us that she had received a surplus of donations from family members, community members, and even folks who knew Grandma in passing to help cover all the expenses they had incurred over the short weekend. The hospital visit, the coffin and grave plaque, even the food – absolutely everything was covered. Donations were triple the amount spent, so Tita had money to spare.
I was genuinely surprised. Grateful, of course, to people I’ve barely met who would spare some of their time and energy to look after our family. But still, I was shocked by the sheer volume of their giving, how Grandma herself would move folks to take care of us even after she’s gone. There’s no doubt she was beloved in her hometown, and even in the province next door where she grew up. Grandma was one of the strongest women I knew, and she cared deeply about her family and her neighbors. Even when she had close to nothing to give, she would still give back to others however she could, in the form of food, hospitality, or friendship. She had so much love left, even at the end of her life. And those around her returned it tenfold.
I’m so inspired by Grandma’s quiet strength and strangers’ generosity that upon returning home to the States, I wondered: What if we could do the same thing for each other?
Amidst USAID funding cuts and crackdowns on nonprofits, the world is a scary place. It’s easy to turn inward, block out the noise, and go into survival mode. Every woman for herself, right? But that’s not what the world needs right now. What it needs, and what we need, is each other.
I recently finished reading Hali Lee’s new book, The Big We. I was struck by her advocacy of giving circles because I realized that informally, the donations for my grandma were a type of giving circle. It’s an intrinsic part of Filipino culture to give to the family of the deceased. Just like Lee’s generosity within her own family and leaning on it as she turns to help others, I too know the power that lies in selfless, compassionate aid. And there’s even more we can do to spur catalytic change outside of the status quo.
Lee smartly challenges the concept of “Big Phil”, i.e. Big Philanthropy, in which ultra-high net worth (UHNW) giving is housed in family foundations, offices, and donor-advised funds, to name a few. While UHNW giving is catalytic to global development, Big Phil alone cannot fill the gaps left behind by governments and other funding entities. Lee argues that the hierarchal structure of Big Phil and the slow-moving flow of money out the door is unsustainable for today’s urgent needs. While necessary, Big Phil is not the final solution.
And so, she turns to giving circles, emphasizing the important value of the everyday donor pooling resources to give money directly to communities who need it. According to the Giving USA 2025 report, everyday donors made up the largest percentage of total giving in 2024: 66% of individuals gave $392 billion last year, out of the $593 billion total. Compared to 19% of foundation giving ($110 billion), the difference is huge. As one person, I may feel less empowered than I would in a collective group of people giving to causes we care about. Right in our own communities, we can make the greatest impact today, lasting for future generations.
It all starts with values. And your friends, coworkers, family members. Anyone you know who wants to make a difference can be a part of this movement. Think of it as your philanthropic book club or group chat. Everyone is a philanthropist, after all. What do you and your circle care about? How does your background and identity inform your philanthropy? Who do you want to see uplifted, and where are the gaps in your community? Who have you volunteered for, or where would you like to volunteer? Outside your circle, talk to your family, to your community members who have also given back, for more ideas. Within your circle, discuss your values, then discuss how your collective contribution will make a greater impact, and why it matters to you. Every grant counts: from $100 to $10,000, any amount adds up to a generous pool that can save the nonprofits around you.
Giving circles skip the red tape of jumping through investment case approvals and board decisions. Not to disregard all the good Big Phil does—I work in it myself, and every day I see the impact that our clients work toward every day. But the future of philanthropy must also uplift community action, a vital part of the fabric that makes us who we are. Groups of people who come together, provide mutual aid, and implement grassroots philanthropy in their own neighborhood are what will bring about collective change. We can unlock generosity together in our own backyard.
Giving circles democratize philanthropy, putting power back into our own hands and the hands of grantees. Giving circles can be as large or as small as anyone would like them to be. Lee’s giving circle, the Asian Women Giving Circle, operates in New York City, supporting arts and cultural projects led by Asian American, Native Hawaiian, and Pacific Islander (AANHPI) women or gender-expansive people in the area. In Chicago, the Chicago Foundation for Women is the fiscal sponsor for multiple giving circles in the city and surrounding suburbs: the LGBTQ Giving Council, the West Side Giving Circle, and the Western Suburbs Giving Circle, to name a few. These circles mobilize resources and invest in community-based organizations that advance gender, racial, and economic equity of all women and girls (LGBTQIA+, non-binary, BIPOC, trans folks, etc.). Through collective giving, we reshape and heal the world in ways that are harder to achieve quickly in the ivory towers of traditional philanthropy.
Collective giving is collective power. The folks who gave to our family, who connected with Grandma during her life and after, pooled their resources to take care of us. These connections, no matter how loose or direct they are, weave the loom that binds Filipinos together. We are always seen as a generous folk, one of the kindest you’ll meet. Our communities are our strength. We look out for our own, but especially for others.
As Lee states, we must move from “me” to “we”—channel the good we want to do individually to the good we can do together. I am not in a giving circle—yet. I’m inspired to seek more opportunities to volunteer and join one, or even start one, someday. In today’s times, it is easy to feel isolated and powerless. But it all starts with reaching out, talking to others, discovering ways to make a difference. The phrase “Be the change you want to see in the world” has guided me in everything I do; it might be a cliché, but it stands true to this day. How can I be that change? Better yet, how can we be that change?
The only way we can find out is to move together, faster and stronger into a world that embodies “The Big We.”
More resources on giving circles:
- Read The Big We
- What is a Giving Circle? – Philanthropy Together
- Giving Circles Collection – Johnson Center for Philanthropy
- Find and Join a Giving Circle – Charity Navigator
